I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
