remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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