Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
