Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize