I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
