Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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