i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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