am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
