Having a random hookup so left but love u
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
