singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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