Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize