I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
