Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
