dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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