I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
