He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
