I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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