oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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