Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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