i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
