I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
