do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
