And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
