critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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