In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The beer is more important than you right now.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
