This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
