this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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