hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
