He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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