I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
