margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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