Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
