At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize