Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
