Did you just see the Batmobile???
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
