goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
