i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
