How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
