Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
