My room smells like vodka and shame
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
