There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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