just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize