we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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