I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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