Already got asked if we're dating
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
