yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize