I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
