I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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