Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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