We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
