if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Randomize
