Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
