I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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