Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord

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(512): View more from Texas

my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went

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(813): View more from Florida

It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.

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