How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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