Don't you send me to vm
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
