I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
