My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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